ENTERPRISE
Scott Bakula, Jolene Blalock, Connor Trinneer
Paramount Television
Oh, bugger it.
I wanted to hate Enterprise. I really did.
I mean, when you look at it closely, it's just Star Trek by numbers, isn't it? From the technobabble (which wouldn't be out of place on Voyager, but sounds a bit too advanced for the relatively primitive Enterprise), to the pacing and format of the show, it's just more of the same Star Trek.
Which, if you like that sort of thing, would be a plus, right?
Well, perhaps.
Having watched the first six episodes, I'm hoping that this doesn't turn out to be a missed opportunity. The producers have a chance to push the envelope, both in terms of effects, and also in terms of the sorts of stories they can tell.
There are hints of what could be, I won't argue with that: these characters carry the unbridled enthusiasm and all-consuming need for discovery that drives the pioneer. They're less anodyne than the practically perfect people populating the Enterprise of Next Generation and Voyager, and are, consequently, much more interesting to watch.
And there are elements of the plot that suggest that we're not just looking at a straight "Enterprise goes somewhere, does something, somebody gets shot, someone saves the day, roll credits" formula. Certainly, in the first episode, there are Big Bloody Hints at a possible over arcing plot, much like Deep Space Nine had. And there are some very obvious pointers as to who will be first to bed who on this new/old Enterprise.
But that's half the problem: we've seen an awful lot of these ideas and characters before, almost ad nauseum.
It's not that the actors are bad: Scott Bakula, that mainstay of cult TV and film, makes for a great Star Trek Captain, with his usual mix of forthright and fraternal charm. Jolene Blalock plays the Vulcan science officer T'Pol as an ever-so-slightly impatient babysitter. And Connor Trinneer, playing the unfortunately named "Trip" Tucker, is clearly going to be one of the breakout actors of the series.
The problem is, Enterprise feels a little too safe and familiar: we've seen the lone ship against the dark unknown before. We've seen the Enterprise on a mission of exploration before. And even the characters start to look familiar after a while: the similarities between T'Pol and Voyager's cyborg-in-a-corset, Seven of Nine, are striking.
And it doesn't help that there's no real, pressing sense of danger about the show.
Listen: the reason people get nervous over moving house, or changing jobs, or whatever, is that it necessitates making a leap out into the unknown. And the Unknown is a scary damn place. That's what makes it so enticing.
This is how Enterprise should feel, all the time: exciting, nervous. Sexy.
Unfortunately, it almost seems, sometimes, that the crew of this Enterprise are as neutered as the rest of them. They're almost there, almost human enough to be believable, but not quite.
An example: one of the episodes involves the mating and impregnation of one of the Enterprise crew by an advanced alien race, quite without their knowledge.
Now, if you or somebody you knew was impregnated against their knowledge, you'd get angry, right? Understandably so.
On the starship Enterprise, of course, they never lose their temper. Even in the days before Kirk (he of the mercurial…emotions, and odd…speech…patterns).
No. Anger is for other species, like the Klingons. So, in this episode, the crew simply tracks down the offending aliens, gives them the little foetus, and goes on their merry way, completely unaffected by the event.
It's things like that, which makes Enterprise hard to like.
But aside from that, and the utter familiarity of the show, which clearly and unashamedly borrows from the other 600-odd Star Trek shows (and damn, if it doesn't remind me of Galaxy Quest, too), it's not a bad TV show. And even from these early episodes, I can see that there's something fun about the programme.
And I can't help but think that Enterprise has the potential to be as good as, or even better than, the other Trek series.
It just has to take a chance. Make a leap of faith.
And boldly go where no other show has gone before.
Hey! I like the sound of that.
Review text (C) Matthew Craig
Originally published in the pop culture magazine Robot Fist